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"Lessons Learned"

Prim Emerly

Updated: Aug 25, 2024



I was told that " I could learn a lesson from this", and its funny beause I believe that I am the only one who did learn anything. In the beginning, I learned what you wanted me too, that I said "I am madly in love with you" too soon, and there was no way I could fix it or change it, let alone no possible way to continue the realtionship. But really that was not the problem, that was not the issue, nor lesson to be learned. The real lesson was and is, that you cannot accept love. The hard truth is you lack the emotional maturity, it felt exciting, good, too good... that it was too much, too overwhelming, too scary. Someone who accepted you and even loved you. Your insecurities truly got the best of you. So rather than accepting, and growing in the unfamilar, you swung to the other side of the pendulum, the false self, the one that is comfortable, and one that you have been in. The one that has kept you in the same spot, logical, business, rigid, with outcomes guarenteed. Despite that last day, everything in your body and heart telling you not to do this, your mind would just not allow it. I could see the conflict, the incongruence, the inner battle, yet reluctance. I so desperately wanted to go into therapist mode, tell you, help you, and fix it....but that is for you to learn.

So, the lesson learned was and is that it had more to do with you, and your insecurities than me or the statemement I made, I will not beg nor plead with a psychoanalysis given to you on a silver platter, and I will stand proud for being vulnerable, authentic, and genuine. So thank you for the "lesson", what lesson did you learn?

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